like a bucket of branches on my back step.......
.
.
.
Living has been hard, in fact I'm not sure that this could even be called life. I lift my head to find that days, weeks and even a whole month has gone by in a fog, where has the time gone? I wrestle with my vices, the constant temptation to try to escape. There are so many lies in my head: they tell me everything would be better, if only I could be better (somehow). Everything is so hard, and yet looking back, I feel ashamed of what looks like only half-efforts.
.
.
This grieving has shown me my sinful nature more than anything ever has. The Cross of my Lord is so valuable to me now....because everyday I am faced (with theatre lighting and surround sound) with my shortcomings.
.
.
Easter was especially hard....a friend was suffering through a miscarriage as we went to the Good Friday service. Her pain and loss brought mine back, like vinegar in a wound that hasn't healed.
.
.
Weeping may last for the night, but joy is in the morning.
I am ready for the morning. Come, Lord Jesus!
3 comments:
I'm yet to post on your blog, but I have ben following it for a few months now.
I am keeping you and your family in my prayers. Even grief and injustice and trial that we bear is a chance for God to teach us, to show us something. We may not always understand it, but one day we will "get it".
Remember, shortcomings are not shortcomings to God. They are opportunities.
Love and care about you, sweetie.
Praying for you today.
This life is so hard. He is faithful and He does hold us up, but it is a hard life nonetheless.
ebe
Post a Comment