32

While the blog record shows that I am extremely preoccupied
withLittle Boy,  our Sweet 7, 

there has also been alot of other things going on. 

Mr. Wonderful has had very little real
(i.e. paying) work this month,

so we've been doing all kinds of things around the house, 

project that don't cost much,  just taking lots of time. 

Here Ian is helping with the window seat in the living room....

he has also been in on drywall work,  painting walls, 
and moving furniture.

Ian is growing up so fast,  and all the sudden
I realize he's not my baby anymore.

~~~

Now,  about the Little Boy!

I am 32 weeks today,  and we are facing some decisions.

Delivery will be via c-section and the

When,  Where and Who

still need to be determined.

Most of the Dr.s think we should go at 36 weeks....

that's only 28 days, baby!!

31 Weeks and Undeserving

So far, the non-stress tests

have shown us 

our little man is doing great!

~~~

After loss, twice through,

it is still hard to grasp that in a matter of weeks,

if God wills,

I will hold this little one in my arms.

In so many ways,  grief has become a part of who I am.

I am used to it,  as ridiculous as that sounds.

Now I almost can't even imagine the feeling

of holding him.

Will I fly apart with happiness?

~~~

I am so undeserving of this gift.

God is gracious and merciful,

slow to anger,

abounding in love.

Rain

There's substance that's casting these shadows
There's reason behind all this pain
All gold is made pure by refining
And plants cannot grow without rain

He's promised to hold you and keep you
He's told you that he's always there
His Word says He'll never forsake you
Or test you past what you can bear

So trust in Him all through this darkness
Hold fast to the truth of His Word
Be certain of His gracious promise
And rest in Christ Jesus our Lord

For one day all pain shall be broken
Renewed shall be joy that was lost
All death, pain and fear have been conquered
Because of His death on the cross



~Amy Calderone
via girltalk

Moving Ahead

It's time, 
whether my emotions are
ready or not,
to get ready for this baby. 
Today I am repainting the small room that's right off ours...
hoping and praying as I work.

It's where we welcomed Ian. 
A room with happy memories.
But the floors are too bright...
the walls dingy and full of nail holes. 
I'm hoping to have the nursery ready in 2 weeks....


Baby's Room~Before