I'll Fly Away

Ian at worship practice....this is his current favorite song.

The 3-year-old is Spirit-led,

and he teaches my heart

to sing.

Some glad morning when this life is o'er,I'll fly away

To a home on God's celestial shore, I'll fly away.

When the shadows of this life have grown I'll fly away,

Like a bird from prison bars has flown I'll fly away!

Just a few more weary days and then I'll fly away,

to a land where joys shall never end, I'll fly away!

Oh how glad and happy when we meet, I'll fly away,

No more cold, iron shackles on my feet, I'll fly away!

I'll fly away, O Glory, I'll fly away,

When I die, hallelejah, by and by, I'll fly away!

How Much More

my son eating a good thing from his daddy....

marshmallows over a camp-fire!

(March 2010)

Remember this mystery, the giving?

It has deepened, grown wider and longer:

overflowing the bounds and banks,

washing fragrant over me,

until my sense returned.

God is

for me.

God is at work,

for me.

God is love,

for me.

God is here,

for me.

The ministers of his grace,

showing such unexpected sacrificial generousity,

have brought the greater gift:

Blessed (re)assurance.

Jesus is mine!

Because if these, his servants,

know how to give good gifts,

how much more does He!

If they weep with me, and pray for me,

how much more does He!

If they work and strive to bless me,

how much more does He!

If they love me,

How much more does He!

If you then, though you are evil,

know how to give good gifts to your children,

how much more will your Father in heaven

give good gifts to those who ask him!

Matthew 7:11

Time-Out

photo of the boys' favorite chicken (Whitey)

~by Braden

I've never grieved this way. It's different this time. I would just rather NOT process all this pain. So I put it away, tenderly and with a prayer that it will stay where it belongs and not mess up my life. But last night, it overflowed like a drawer stuffed with too many socks. The grief explodes and I wonder how I am to clean it up.



The first thing to go:

Blog reading/Facebook has brought many wonderful friends and blessings to my life, but at this stage in my grief being on the 'net is also bringing on extra burdens that I can't bear right now. My real life is pretty simple.....feed the family, fold the laundry, weed the vegetables---and I like it that way. So, while I will still be blogging here for the purpose of my personal and family journal, I won't be checking in or commenting on all my favorite blogs for the next few months. And I'm quitting Facebook, too.



Wonder what it's like back in the stone age? I'll let you know!

I Surrender All

At 2:30am, my husband took a trip to the emergency room with our middle son, Nathan. He suddenly is coughing and can't breathe. His throat is very restricted. Staying home with my other two boys, I have prayed as much as I can, doing the laundry and cleaning the bathroom.

~Now I have had a call, it's croup. They are giving him some treatments, and watching him for the next 4 hours. Please pray that Nathan heals, and that this will not return.

~

Today's hymn is a hard one,

especially when dealing with fear

and the reality that God DOES take away.

I want to be able to sing this with my whole heart!

~

All to Jesus I surrender,

All to Him I freely give;

I will ever love and trust Him,

In His presence daily live.

***

I surrender all,

I surrender all.

All to Thee, my blessed Savior,

I surrender all.

***

All to Jesus I surrender,

Humbly at His feet I bow,

Worldly pleasures all forsaken,

Take me, Jesus, take me now.

***

All to Jesus I surrender,

Make me, Savior, wholly thine;

May Thy Holy Spirit fill me,

May I know Thy pow'r divine.

***

All to Jesus I surrender,

Lord, I give myself to Thee;

Fill me with Thy love and power,

Let Thy blessing fall on me.

~Judson W. Van de Venter

Upside Down

This week is thumbing it's nose at me as it ends.....I have accomplished very little. I haven't shared here the amazing things that God has done and is doing in our lives and in our hearts. But, I have lived. Breathed. Laughed. Cried. And looked at things differently, seeing beauty in even the upside down.

Given

There is a mystery I cannot even describe faithfully, and never explain.

Family, friends and aquaintances (and yes, even blog readers!)

have been moved to action, inspired by God to reach out to me

in tangible, hold-it-in-your-hand ways. It amazes me how generous God's people are!

There have been several times over the last 6 weeks that I have thrown a temper-tantrum at God. Self-pity and whining take over, and I momentarily forget the ways the ways he has moved in others to help me.

So, humbled because of my pride and my need, I express my thanks to you. Each one of you has done the unexpected, what I never would have dreamed, and for this I am deeply grateful. You are on my "counting my blessings" list!

My Father's World

This is my Father's world,

And to my listening ears

All nature sings and round me rings

The music of the spheres.

This is my Father's world:

I rest me in the thought

Of rocks and trees of skies and seas---

His hand the wonders wrought.

~

This is my Father's World,

The bird's their carols raise,

The morning light, the lily white,

Declare their Maker's praise.

This is my Father's world:

He shines in all that's fair;

In the rustling grass I hear Him pass,

He speaks to me everywhere.

~

This is my Father's world,

O let me ne'er forget

That though the wrong seems oft so strong,

God is the Ruler yet.

This is my Father's world;

the battle is not done;

Jesus who died shall be satisfied,

and earth and heaven be one.

~

Maltbie Davenport Babcock (1858-1901)

Last Sunday's hymn has been with me all week:

"Be still , my soul, the Lord is on thy side!"

This week I will remember

the third verse...

"God is the Ruler yet!"

Broken

In our American church culture, this is a glamourized

word....

One song even says: sweetly broken.

The past 2 years and 2 months have been

full of breaking.....

and it's not pretty. It's not gentle.

Today my heart just hurts.

Tea?

One rainy afternoon this week,

while the youngest slept,

we had a tea party.
It's something I've wanted to do
with my daughter....
turns out it's fun with sons, too.

Magical Mud

You know the old adage for enjoying life:

"Stop and smell the roses"?

Translated into my life:

"Stop and splash in the muddy puddles".

Be Still, My Soul!

Be still, my soul! the Lord is on thy side;

bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;

Leave to thy God to order and provide;

In every change He faithful will remain.

Be still, my soul! thy best, thy heavenly Friend

Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

~

Be still, my soul! thy God doth undertake

To guide the future as He has the past.

Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;

All now mysterious shall be bright at last.

Be still, my soul! the waves and winds still know

His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below.

~

Be still, my soul! the hour is hastening on

When we shall be forever with the Lord,

When disapointment, grief and fear are gone,

Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.

Be still, my soul! when change and tears are past,

All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

~Katharine Amalia von Schlegel, 1719

Spa Saturday

Simple, homemade facials:

a herbal steam with thyme from my flower beds,

honey and yogurt mask,

finished off with a skin-tightening treatment of egg whites.

~

Ingredients:

free from our kitchen and garden

Feeling pampered:

priceless.