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Ian's Birthday started out with him choosing his birthday cereal

from the few secret boxes of sweet cereal that I stash. Ian LOVES cereal, our Sunday breakfast,

and he always studies the back of the box so seriously.
His day ended with cousins and family and presents galore,
and blackberry pie.

***
Some to the things I want to remember about my sweet boy's 3rd year:
***
~Ian's love for music: he is fascinated by worship on Sundays and calls the leader's guitar a "sound". He loves to sing, and has many songs memorized. His favorites this year: Jesus Loves Me, Amazing Grace, and You Never Let Go.
~ Ian's imagination: He is very into swords, guns and dragons. We try to minimize the violence, but some of it is unavoidable with two older brothers!! He pretends quite often, especially when playing by himself during schooltime. He loves cars and trucks and dirt!

~Ian's prayers. He folds his hands and squeezes his eyes shut, which makes his nose all crinkled. He was a very wordy prayer warrior at the start of the year, and currently he loves to pray: "Thank you for the food, in Jesus' Name, Amen."
or "Thank you for the Bible, in Jesus' Name, Amen."

The Whole Family

A celebration of Mom and Dad's 30 years together.....

Back Row, L to R: My youngest sister Abigail, my sister Grace, Nathan, Mr. Wonderful, Braden, Me, and Ian

Middle Row, L to R: My brother J, his wife T, Mom, Dad, my brother B, his wife S

Front Row of Babies, L to R: Madison, Cameron, Blake, Brogan and Briscoe!!

It is always so fun to get together,

and it's just the beginning with all these great cousins!!

MADE MY DAY!!

I don't want to stop the happy tears,

my dear friend Molly has some great news!

Raising Boys~~Homeschooling

I sit here on the couch beside my son, unsure of whether to laugh at the irony or yell in frustration. He is in the throes of a stubborn fit over his reading lesson....the word over which the battle rages is the word SUBMIT. He cries, pulls on his cheeks (an angry habit) and is in constant figeting motion with his hands, twisting and turning, picking and pinching. I (ever so calmly, of course) remind him to fold his hands, put his eyes on the page, sound it out, and READ THE WORD. We are going on 30 minutes with this word, a word I know he can read, and I scribble blog notes and shopping lists to help me keep my own impatience in check.

This is not the plan. The plan for these first years (1 and 2 grade) with these active boys is to focus on the basics and keep it quick. I want the majority of their day to be spent outside, where boys belong. On an average day, we are done with 4-5 subjects in just a little over an hour. We multi-task (their pennmanship is copying out their Bible memory verse, and their reading is the Bible, (the gospel of Luke) devotions, and time with Mom. The math and piano lessons are after those subjects.) and try to keep distractions to a minimum. Right. I remind that distractions and learning to perservere through them is a life-skill that they will need as grown men.

Today, schooling is taking twice as long. It's character time, I hope. Inevitably, this happens on a day when I had planned on going somewhere fun after school. Even that doesn't motivate him. I pray silently for wisdom and patience. And I knit.

Knitting is my secret weapon for the early years of homeschooling. I am able to channel my own figets and frustration, rising temper and plain annoyance at the current events into the needles and string. And, usually, something useful and beautiful is to show from it.

Our plans have cancelled, foiled by a six-year-old who is learning the hard lesson of submission. I am, too.

Peas and Spinach

My boys are anticipating the day when they can,

"Just go out to the garden whenever we are hungry

and eat all the spinach and peas we want!!"

Diamonds and Pearls

Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad!

You make 30 years together look easy!

In the Orchard

A visit to the Orchard House, with the triplets.

~

~

"The light was golden, and the day was stolen

from another time."
~unknown~

Through the Valley

Somedays I just wake up feeling like crying, and by noon, know it would have been better off for me to have my weep before breakfast, instead of dragging it on through the day. Today my heart is just heavy. It has been two years to the day since we buried our little girl, and I still go by the cemetery and think, "It can't be!"

As always, I sit and stare at the screen, wondering how much, and what, and if, do I say anything at all?

These two years have been like twenty (I feel soooo old!) and yet, I can praise God for answering my prayers, for keeping my family whole while I was blinded by grief. I know that my boys bear the marks of this, too, but in a good way. Their faith and hope in God is so strong. Braden's first response when we told him of the new baby, was "If this baby dies, it will be OK, because Ellie had the best life ever. Just straight to God....none of this yucky stuff." If my eight year old can see that life on earth is not all there is, then this is only God! I have failed them often, often, often as a mother. From the start, I begged God to let me still be a good mom, since I can't afford to give up years of our children's lives! But these have been ugly years, when my selfishness and sinfulness have shown, a painful and humiliating process. My dear husband has borne the brunt of my ugliness, and yet continues to love and serve me in the strength of Christ. I am thankful for him and the way he has been a direct flow of God's love in tangible ways, while suffering himself.

I miss my little Ellie, I wish she was going to get to be a big sister this fall. But I am convinced, through this suffering more than ever, that heaven is just a breath away, and God's promises of rewards and restitution are more real to me than ever. There will be a time when ALL our tears are gone. Hard to fathom right now. But it's going to be good.

'Bleeding Heart' in the Spring

Two milestones were passed this weekend:

13 weeks along with Babycakes,

(that was when we lost our very first baby)

and two years since we said hello,

and goodbye

to Ellie Rene'.

These shoots are one of my favorite spring flowers;

'Bleeding Heart'.

Old-fashioned, romantic and just a bit dramatic.

Their lime green leaves, curled and feathery,

insist that spring is on it's way.

I am blessed by the new mercies of the Lord,

and His faithfulness through all my seasons!