Where am I?

Back into survival mode....just the littlest things push me back. I seem to have lost all energy, creativity and focus. This week it was Nathan's ear infection....poor guy spent the better part of two days just crying. Thankfully he's much better now, and today we are trying to find our way back to normal. Right.

From The Purple Cellar...

In one of his parables Jesus described a merchant who went searching for fine pearls. But along the way, the merchant found a pearl that was more valuable than anything he'd found yet, so he went and sold all he had to buy it. We all have a pearl like that, something we'd given anything to possess. But it may not be the pearl that Jesus was talking about. Maybe the one pearl we're searching for is a spouse. Or maybe it's an improvement on the spouse we have. Maybe it’s a new job or a better house.

Inevitably, though, there is no guarantee that pearls of this sort are going to come our way.The pearl of marriage might never come along or, if it does, it might turn out to be a pearl with little luster. The pearl of great talent might never find an outlet--something or someone comes along and takes away the opportunity to use it. Or despite the care and diligence we devote to maintaining the pearl of good health, it remains elusive.There is only one pearl we can be sure of possessing—the kingdom of heaven. And from Jesus' parable we see that getting hold of it is worth everything else we have. We nod our heads in agreement, but do we really believe it? And something else to consider: is this the pearl we really want? If we do, we will invest our lives in it.

Jesus tells us that God's kingdom is greater than any treasure, any blessing, anything else we will ever know. It is worth whatever it may cost us, including the other pearls we want so desperately and think we need. As Christian women, we agree with that in principle, but if we're honest, we have to admit we don't pursue it wholeheartedly. We want the other pearls too much. But that's why many of us live in a state of chronic disappointment. But offering God our disappointments is an act of selling what we have to purchase that one pearl. Each and every time something threatens to steal our peace, we can stop what we are doing and open that raw painful place to God. Sometimes a brief but honest prayer is all we can manage. As often as possible, we sit with his Word open before us, asking him to reveal himself in our struggle. The more we see, the more we will want. Before we know it, we will find ourselves wanting him even more than we want those other pearls. He himself will be the peace we have been wanting all along. He is faithful to us in this way. It has been said, and truthfully so, that sometimes we don't know God is all we have until God is all we've got.

view Lydia's entire blog The Purple Cellar

Longing

....for life with a little girl....

to see the brothers protect her,

her daddy read a different kind of story to her,

to get her ready for church.

The thoughts and reminders that open the wounds again…

More Knitting

This crazy long scarf is a new favorite
and a turn-a-square hat for a gift
(shhh, don't tell!)

Loopy Lace Scarf

My first pattern...hope you like it!

Loopy Lace Scarf
This light and lofty reversible lace

honeycomb rib scarf features a loop

to keep it in place and keep you warm!
Yarn: Frog Tree Alpaca
Sport Weight in Natural ..2 skeins
Needles: Size 4 (I used my set of bamboo double points...

you'll need three for the loop)
Gauge: 26 sts in pattern=4inches
Finished Size: 6 inches by 34 inches

Abbreviations:
k ~ knit
p~ purl
sl 1~ slip one knitwise
yo~ yarn over
psso~ pass slipped stitch over

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Cast on 40 (or a multiple of 5 stitches. )
(k3, p2) repeat seven times, k3, p1, sl 1
(k1, yo, k1, sl1-p2-psso)repeat seven times, k1, yo, k1, sl 1-p1-sl 1-psso
(k2, p3)repeat seven times, k2, p2, sl 1
(sl 1-k2-psso, p 1, yo, p 1)x7, sl 1-k2-psso, p 1, yo, sl 1

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Knit honeycomb stitch pattern for 6 inches,

ending with a simple knit/purl row.

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Dividing Stitches for Pull-Through
Divide stitches onto two needles (holding two needles in right hand, work in left hand, slip one stitch onto front needle, second stitch to back needle, alternating until all stitches are divided)
Knitting one side at a time, Knit 1 Purl 1 ribbing, for two inches. Cut yarn, leaving 8 inch tail, and attach to other side, knit until equal length. Then holding both sections in left hand, slip stitches one at a time, alternating front and back needles, until all the work is together again on the right needle. Pick up pattern again, starting with row one.

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Knit honeycomb pattern for 23 inches (or desired length for around the neck)
Repeat Dividing Stitches.
In pattern, knit 6 inches, bind off loosely. Block lightly.

Tuning

My heart is battered from nightmares,

and worrying as I wake,
needing a reset button.



Then comes a sweet whisper in my ear:

Come, Thou Fount of every blessing,

Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;

Streams of mercy, never ceasing,

Call for Songs of Loudest praise!

Soft

These wisps of delicious baby hair...

bye-bye.

snip. snip. snip.

Blessings Overflow

Today I met my newest nephews and niece,

what precious little people they are!

They will be three weeks old tomorrow....

all doing well and gaining weight!Cameron Jason
Madison Joy
Blake Brian

Suffering and Sovereignty

Here we have a picture of God's ideal woman.

1. Faith in God that goes beyond and sees beyond present bitter circumstances and setbacks.
2. Freedom from the securities and comforts of home and family and this life.
3. Courage to venture into the unknown and the strange.
4. Radical commitment in the relationships appointed by God.

John Piper, series in Ruth

If you are like me, today was one of the many days when encouragement is needed.

Desiring God is an table set with feasts of grace.

(h)ello?

Ian likes to talk.

To anyone. To everyone.

Even to the neighbor's cow,

if no one else will listen.

Awakening

I am realizing that my life has been "survival mode"

for nearly a year

(when we found out I was pregnant with Ellie,

Ian was just 7 months old!)

It was a time of adjustment, pregnancy hormones

and the rush of the holidays.

.

Then she died.

.

And life has just been crawling, sometimes barely moving at all.

Life has been lost in the woods of grief,

time just passing by while my heart was tightly curled up.

.

It's time. It's time to move again.

To exercise my emotional muscles, to work a little harder,

to push the status quo just a little more each day.

So pray for me, that my motivation comes from the Lord,

from a desire to live as he wants and wills,

not from any part of my self.

Rest

Where does your security lie?

Is God your refuge,
your hiding place,
your stronghold,
your shepherd,
your counselor,
your friend,
your redeemer,
your saviour,
your guide?
If He is, you don't need to search any further for security.

Elisabeth Elliot

Blue Eyes

#1
#3
now he's 5!!
Happy Birthday, Nathan!

Keeping my Focus

The constant noise over the election and the ecomomy,
the daily struggle for victory over my emotions,

the discipline, training and love (and snacks!) that my boys need,
leaves me feeling stressed, distracted, tired, and worried.

~~~
Today I sit, still and praying,
for a holy purpose to be restored to my heart.
~~~
Hebrews 12:2
Let us fix our eyes
on Jesus,
the author and perfecter
of our faith,
who for the joy set before
him endured the cross,
scorning its shame,
and sat down at the right hand
of the throne of God.

Memories Collide

I grew up on this slide.

Seeing my children play here,

taking pleasure in what I did,

makes my heart swell with happiness.

1 Chronicles 16:34

Give thanks to the LORD,

for he is good;

his love endures forever.