A devotion to share

A few weeks ago I shared this devotion at my sister's bridal shower.    Here's my notes:
Contentment~Psalm 16~
Now, it may be that the Holy Spirit has been speaking to my own heart so loudly and persistently about this in my own life that I can't hear anything else, but as I prayed and thought about what to share with you tonight---Psalm 16 and contentment came to mind (right after submission and keeping milk in the fridge! :-) )

     What is contentment? And what does this have to do with marriage, and our desire to be good and godly wives to our husbands?

First, contentment is defined as:
"a resting and satisfaction of mind, without disquiet."
The opposite of content is: discontent, envy, greed, fear and worry

What does contentment look like in marriage?

First, we have to begin with GOD! You CANNOT be fully content in your marriage and with Tyler unless you are trusting, resting and satisfied completely in God. He is your ultimate provider: your needs CANNOT all be met by Tyler! You must go to God with your heart for all that He places in your life. Remeber verse 11: "You will fill me with joy in your presence".

So, after you are content in God and have found your joy in His presence, then you have to come to grips with whatever is in front of you that is causing your "discontent, envy, greed, fear and worry." God calls and commands us to be content whatever the circumstances and whatever the situation. (Phillippians 4:11-15) The power to be content comes ONLY from HIM, who gives us the strength.

What does this look like in marriage? How can can we practically live this out?

Because you trust in God, you can trust Tyler to lead and direct your home. You can be content in the provision he brings (not just finacial provision, the spiritual, emotional and physical!) Discontent and complaining ALWAYS tears our husbands down.

A wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands a foolish woman tears hers down. ~Proverbs 14:1

Discontent brings out our nagging and critical side, which is never helpful to our husbands or ourselves.

Being content, in God first and then Tyler, will be a gift that you can daily give Tyler. Think of how being this kind of wife, who encourages, supports and respects her husband, without complaining, keeping her heart content in God, will free her husband to lead and serve his family in the way that God directs him to.

One of the biggest issues I've had in my short years of marriage (and life) is dealing with the dissapointment of unmet expectations. I tend to expect certain things: my husband will do this, act this way, call me at this time, ect... and our life together will go this way. While it is OK to plan and dream, God has shown me that my expectations of my husband and our future are unbiblical.

Read James 4:13-15

Living life in submission to GOD's will for each particular day, allowing Him to direct my TO-DO list, gives the freedom to be content. My own priorities and expectations were faulty----in reality, looking back, I see that my husband has far exceeded my expectations in the things that I really need. He has loved me faithfully and tenderly through times and circumstances that have brought out all that is sinful and ugly in my heart. He is a godly man, and having him as my spiritual leader has benefitted and calmed my soul so very often! It really is true that, while much has changed in us over the past 10 years, I DO love him more than ever! His character is a souce of love and inspiration. The boundaries have fallen for me in pleasant and delightful places!!!!

      The other place where contentment is needed is with ourselves. It is so easy to get impatient with where we are...as wives and as women of God. I know that a year and a half ago, after going through a time of deep grief and depression, I was very discouraged because I couldn't see any fruit in my life. It's one thing to go through a hard time if you know there's something worthwhile at the end of it all! But I was still thinking on my own timeline....it's just now that the fruit of those years is coming to bear on my life. It's God's work to change us, and we have to be content with HIS timeline. There is no way to rush it! Character takes time! Be content, and again, TRUST GOD to do what needs done in your life.

I hope this was helpful to all of you ladies in some way, and that sometime down the road in your future, Grace, by the power of the Holy Spirit, that you will see the fruit of peace that contentment brings.

As I close, I would like to read an exerpt from my favorite author, Elizabeth Elliot. " {I}...have learned that He is indeed Enough. He is not all we would ask (if we are honest), but it is precisely when we do not have what we would ask for, and only then, that we can clearly perceive His all-sufficiency. It is when the sea is moonless that the LORD has become my Light. "

Lord, we acknowledge you as Enough. You are all we need, and when we are having hard day, we want to come to you with our hearts, our unmet expectations and dissapointments, and find IN YOU our peace and true contentment, and true understanding of life that acknowleges, even in the worst of times, because of Jesus, your judgement is not on us, and the boundary lines have fallen in pleasant places. We are yours!!!!

Please bless Grace as she moves into the wonderful role of wife to Tyler. Grant her a peaceful heart and a contented spirit as she walks through life, supporting and loving Tyler. Bless their marriage, lead them and guide them through these early years, and all the decisions they will be facing.

You are so GOOD, God! We love you and praise you for the good gift of marriage! In Jesus' name, AMEN.

God's Way

Solomon showed his love for the LORD by walking according to the statutes of his father David, except that he offered sacrifices and burned incense on the high places....1 Kings 3:3

I want to worship God in the way

that is most pleasing to him....

not in tradition or habit,

but in complete obedience to ALL

that he commanded.

I am praying for God to reveal any

"excepts".

Out of the Ashes

God is working miracles today. I cannot see them, and might not ever see them with my eyes, but in my heart rests an assurance of God's continual work in our lives.

Out of the ashes of my loss, and the embers of pain that are still hurting so many, I am finding a fresh vision. This world is full of hurting people.....and what can I do for them?

Happiness

O Lord, Help me never to expect any happiness

from the world, but only in thee.
Let me not think that I shall be more happy

by living to myself,

for I can only be happy if employed for thee,

and if I desire to live in this world

only to do and suffer what thou dost allot me.

Teach me that if I do not live a life that satisfies thee,
I shall not live a life that will satisfy myself.
Help me to desire the spirit and temper of angels
who willingly come down to this lower world
to perform thy will,though their desires are heavenly,
and not set in the least upon earthy things;
then I shall be of that temper I ought to have.

Help me not to think of living to thee
in my own strength,but always to look to and rely on thee
for assistance.




Teach me that there is no greater truth than this,
that I can do nothing of myself.
Lord, this is the life that no unconverted man
can live,yet it is an end that every godly soul
presses after;
Let it be then my concern to devote myself
and all to thee.


Make me more fruitful and more spiritual,
for barrenness is my daily affliction and load.
How precious is time, and how painful to see it fly
with little done to good purpose!I need thy help:
O may my soul sensibly depend upon thee
for all sanctification,and every accomplishment of thy purposes
for me, for the world,
and for thy kingdom.



Valley of Vision, via Challies

A Rare Jewel

I can in all states cast my care upon God,

cast my burden upon God,

I can commit my way to God in peace:

faith can do this.

Therefore, when reason can go no higher,

let faith get on the shoulders of reason and say,

‘I see land though reason cannot see it,

I see good that will come out of all this evil.’

Exercise faith by often resigning yourself to God,

by giving yourself up to God and his ways.

The more you in a believing way

surrender up yourself to God,

the more quiet and peace you will have.

.

.

.
The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment,

by Jeremiah Burroughs

Not in Vain

Death has been swallowed up in victory....thanks be to God!

He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

Therefore, my dear brotheres, stand firm.

Let nothing move you.

Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord,

because you know that your labor

in the Lord

is not in vain.

1 Corinthians 15:54-58

Tender and Tough

She is clothed with strength and dignity;

she can laugh at the days to come.

~Proverbs 31:25

Encouragement this Week

1.The Theology of Suffering---Joni Eareckson Tada at Dallas Theological Seminary.

It's been awhile since I listened to Joni speak....she always touches me with her testimony and perspective on suffering. It's now been 40 years of suffering for her....and what beauty God is bringing of it!

2. What does Grief Look like at 17 Months? --- Molly is a dear friend to me, and her writing touches a chord that I've been hearing, but unable to find my own way of expressing. This is a must read!

3. My Mom. Days go by, and sometimes I haven't really talked about the hard stuff with anyone but God and my husband (both are longsuffering with me!!) and this week it really helped to have a heart-to-heart with my mother, who loves me and who has been here, too.

Hope and Healing

Earlier this week, I was so blessed to be able to meet Becky. Her blog has encouraged me by her example of joy even after repeated devastating tradegy. She has just finished writing a book, Hope and Healing after Pregnancy Loss, and I am priveliged to have read through the rough draft. After reading it, and meeting her it is clear that God has healed her. She is not bitter, not wounded, not scarred or damaged.....but stronger, alive and joyful again.

I can't reccommend her book enough......it's full of practical, real-life help. And it's so good coming from someone who's been there. If you'd like to read it, let me know!

Trust

Deuteronomy 3:24
"O Sovereign LORD, you have begun to show to your servant your greatness and your strong hand. For what god is there in heaven or on earth who can do the deeds and mighty works you do?"

Suffering and Sovereignty

Here we have a picture of God's ideal woman.

1. Faith in God that goes beyond and sees beyond present bitter circumstances and setbacks.
2. Freedom from the securities and comforts of home and family and this life.
3. Courage to venture into the unknown and the strange.
4. Radical commitment in the relationships appointed by God.

John Piper, series in Ruth

If you are like me, today was one of the many days when encouragement is needed.

Desiring God is an table set with feasts of grace.

Which one?

I have been pondering the Fruit of the Spirit.....
and find that I crave His peace the most.
So many of the wrestlings I have in my flesh
would be done if I walked daily infused
with His Peace.
(Of course,
I could use more patience and self-control,
and probably more joy and
definately more kindess,
and goodness,
lots more gentleness and yep,
love, too. )




John 16:33
"I have told you these things,

so that in me you may have peace.

In this world you will have trouble.

But take heart!

I have overcome the world."


How about you?
What do you seek to walk in more everyday, and why?

Listen with Kindness, Please?

Oh, the comfort
—the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person —
having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words,
but pouring them all right out,just as they are,
chaff and grain together;
certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them,
keep what is worth keeping,
and then with the breath of kindness
blow the rest away.
~Dinah Craik

Here on my blog I try to keep my words to a minimum.

Somehow in real life I have a much harder time.

Is all my conversation filled with grace

and wisdom and love,

or am I just a clanging cymbal,

harsh and grating to all who hear?

Tears sting in my eyes, and I am sick with remorse...

was my heart heard?

a gift in the mail....

Kind words from a friend....

encouragement when I need it.... *oregon grape....new growth after a severe pruning last year *


Do not look forward to the changes
and chances of this life in fear;
rather look to them with full HOPE,
that, as they arise,
God , whose you are,
will deliver you out of them.
He has kept you hitherto-
do you but hold fast
to his dear Hand,
and He will lead you safely
through all things;
and, when you cannot stand,
He will bear you in his arms,
Do not look forward to what may happen tomorrow;
the same everlasting Father who cares for you today,
will take care of you
tomorrow and every day.
Either He will shield you from suffering,
or
He will give you unfailing strength to bear it.
Be at peace then, and
put aside all anxious thoughts and imaginations.
St. Francis DE SALES

5 years....

......someone dear to my heart shares her heart with me,

5 years later.

Sometimes I can't even imagine

what my heart will feel like in five years......

will it still be living?

Only by God's grace, his upholding,

can we go on.....

Crisis

As more times of trouble and pain come,

dealing with my own suffering

and becoming aware of that of others,

I am convinced that all

I am to do is love God more.

Not to thrive under this crushing weight,

not to bloom profusely in adverse weather conditions,

not to prove anything.

Just cling to Him.

Follow Him.

Trust Him.

LOVE Him.

Remembering Today

The Purple Cellar posts Remebering A Shepherd as James Montgomery Boice gives his final message to his congregation after discovering that he had liver cancer. These thoughts are especially moving to me....they are something that has been in my heart, but I haven't been able to find the words to express.

"If I were to reflect on what goes on theologically here, there are two things I would stress. One is the sovereignty of God. . . . God is in charge. When things like this come into our lives, they are not accidental. It’s not as if God somehow forgot what was going on, and something bad slipped by. . . . God does everything according to his will. We’ve always said that. But what I’ve been impressed with mostly is something in addition to that. It’s possible, isn’t it, to conceive of God as sovereign and yet indifferent? God’s in charge, but he doesn’t care. But it’s not that. God is not only the one who is in charge; God is also good. Everything he does is good. And what Romans 12, verses 1 and 2, says is that we have the opportunity by the renewal of our minds—that is, how we think about these things—actually to prove what God’s will is. And then it says, “His good, pleasing, and perfect will.” Is that good, pleasing, and perfect to God? Yes, of course, but the point of it is that it’s good, pleasing, and perfect to us. If God does something in your life, would you change it? If you’d change it, you’d make it worse. It wouldn’t be as good. "

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It wouldn't be as good?!!! That's right, as much as my arms ache to hold my baby girl, as much as my tummy even mourns it's NOT HUGE state, as much as the million things I wanted to share with my Ellie, it wouldn't be as good as this. As HIS perfect will. Against the tears and the racking sobs, I shout.... I proclaim..... I demand of myself to know.....

it wouldn't be as good.

Doing My Best

Yesterday I heard my oldest whine "But I did my best" when I knew it wasn't even close to effort that he should have put in. As I opened my mouth to correct him, I was reminded of the plainitive way I look at the life around me, the responsibilities given me. How often I am unhappy with the results of my actions, yet defend their mediocrity with the thought that at least I'm trying.....

Honestly, do I say "I'm doing my best" because I want a pat on the back or as an excuse for not measuring up----in reality finding fault with the One who made me?


Instead, let me DO all that is before me to do, not shirking or skimping, and offering all to Him, and allow Him inspect (and correct!)

The Princess and the Pioneer

Quoted from Femina--- by Nancy Wilson

In one of the books I was reading recently, there was an offhand comment about how there are really only two kinds of women: the princess and the pioneer. I was struck by the wisdom and insight in this observation, and the more I thought about it, the more it seems to really sum up how women generally handle life. We either are the kind who are willing to roll up our sleeves and dive into the business at hand, even if it is something we have never done before; or we are looking around for the people who are going to be taking care of us.

I submit the idea---couldn't I look like a princess,

but act like a pioneer?

I know she can!

Grappling?

Last night my Mr. Wonderful dropped by this little place on the web to read my blog (sometimes several days go by without him seeing what I've posted). He approved, of course, but had a question about a word in my side bar. I had written that I was "grappling" with the death of our Ellie.

He asked if that was the best word.

So that got me to thinking: while somedays this grief does physically and emotionally wear me out, the word "grappling" brings to mind wrestling. With an opponent. And so what would my reader assume that opponet to be? doubt? despair? depression?

So I wanted to clarify: when I wrote "grappling" I was thinking of the day-to-day fight for joy, the contest of submission, the challenge of resting in the wonderful will of my loving God. The way we wake up, and daily re-orient our hearts towards God, bringing all thoughts and emotions under the Lordship of Christ, our gentle shepherd. My Father keeps me.....His faithfullness means that He will get me through this---not me pulling myself up by some spiritual willpower. He will do it.....

Many days, this is, by God's grace, as simple as a prayer as I breathe: "Thank you Lord, for all......" Other days, it requires a continual surrender.......holding nothing tighter than I cling to Christ alone......

My prayer is that God is glorified in all my days.....