Happy Birthday, Ellie!!

24 weeks with my little girl....such a short time,

but how she has changed my life!

It's like a little secret....I have a daughter!!

There have been comments and questions 

(even more now that we have James)

asking about "trying" for a girl.

Most the time I just smile and say...

"We'll see!"

but inside I have this little monologue:

"Hey, sweet girl....I miss you,

and apparently everyone else,  even perfect strangers

can see that there is something missing in our little family...

a bouncy little girl!"

Ellie would be three today!

There are still moments of profound sadness and longing over
my Ellie,

but lately,  mostly just anticipation.  

She is safe and secure,

it's just a matter of time

until we touch again.



A Light from Shadows

(wink captured by Nathan)

"All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,

A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king."


J.R.R. Tolkein



Braden:   "Are we going to have another baby someday, Mom?"
Mom:   "We don't know, dear.   But remember how great a gift James is....how we have been given far, far more than we deserve!"
Braden:  "YES!  James is the best thing that has happened to me!!"

Safe

    Our belated birthday trip to the City for Daddy's birthday came with a scare yesterday.   Have you ever lost one of your children?   I have never misplaced one of them for longer than a few seconds.

    We were biking along the river (which is very high still from the spring runoff) on the bike path.   At the midpoint,  we stopped to walk through a wildlife park,  but Ian kept on going,  and in our distraction over James (is he getting sunburned through the canopy?  does he need to eat?  should we let him keep sleeping? etc.) we didn't see him disappear down the path.   When we noticed he wasn't with us,  we thought he was just ahead of us in the wildlife park.   We spent a few minutes calling his name,  half running down the paths,  thinking he would be just around the next bend.   About that time,  he had turned around and biked back up the path,  but didn't see our bikes at the park and just kept going right on past.   We came out of the park,  separated and and started searching. 

  15 minutes later after pedaling hard,  I was all the way back to our vehicle. I had questioned nearly everyone I passed about a little boy, 4 years old and alone.    I begged and borrowed a cell phone from a complete stranger,  called back to Mr. Wonderful,  who had just found Ian.   He had gone off the path,  talked to several different people,  and was with a man who was getting ready to call the police.  

   God is merciful,  and our boy Ian is safe.
  

Growin' on Kisses

This boy gains in heft every day, it seems.
 It must be all the kisses....
we can't seem to keep our lips from his cheek,
 his soft fuzzy head,  and his sweet soft neck. 
Not to mention the dimpled elbows, 

the chubby knees,  and adorable toes.