Resolve:

Less:

worry

More:

prayer

Less:

struggle

More:

peace

Less:

hurry

More:

play

Less:

doing

More:

enjoyment

Maybe it's that I turned 30 this month,

maybe it's the new expressions in my oldest's eyes....

But I am feeling the rush of time.

It's time to step out of the race,

let go of the pressure for perfect,

and just live. 

I only get to be here once!

Don't Miss It

I've been so convicted this year....

not to miss the Gift of Love.

I don't want to be indifferent to the One who came,

but to have my heart focussed on Him.

***

We are days away from the next best Christmas present ever....

a baby with a heartbeat at 28 weeks.

Then we start non-stress tests twice a week...

I really never thought we'd be here.

Thank you ever so much,

more than words can say,

for your prayers.

They mean life.

Preparing

26 weeks and Rejoicing!

Ian took this picture of "the brothers"

while they were trumpeting with wrapping paper rolls.

This is the way it is around here....loud,  blurry,  but still Oh, so happy!

Baby Boy is doing great according to today's ultrasound,

and is up to 2 lbs. 5 oz.

After Ellie and Benjamin, 

this seems so big. 

It is huge.

25 Weeks

It has been perfectly beautiful winter weather here the past week.

There have been sledding parties,  snowball fights, 

and joyful preparations for Christmas.

Lots of hot cocoa,  stories read aloud, 

 and quiet reflections while the snow comes down.

*Baby is still doing well.   His kicks are the best part of my day.  Monday night I dreamed of him.

It was my first {good} dream----he was alive, smiling and needing a diaper change.  My dreams are always vivid,  and tend to affect my mornings...so many times I have to work hard at shaking off a nightmare.   But not yesterday.   I was on just so happy going through my day,   remembering that smile and smelly diaper. 

 *Last night we chose Baby's name.  We had't even talked about it that much,   but as we were falling asleep,   we just knew it was time.   The boys' had a mixed reaction this morning at breakfast.....turns out this little guy may have lots of middle names and nicknames!  

*There is still sadness.    Christmas is such a time of longing for me.   Longing for all that is not now,   and not here.    But the amazing thing is that God is helping me to work through the moments of sadness:  allowing them but then moving on.   Not dwelling or wallowing in the sadness.   

Is this contentment:  making peace with the grief?

*Winter is a time of challenge for me in mothering.   We are all feeling cooped up,  and nerves and tempers show.  I listen for the Lord in the noise and chaos,  but mostly I hear Him in the few minutes of stolen quiet and peace after the boys go to bed,  or before they wake up.    He is good to me because he is with me.