in their eyes

Everyone mentions the family resemblance:

these boys belong together.

How do I love?

God is calling.

He's calling me to here, 

to offer each task,  each moment,

 as an gift,

wrapped with thanks-giving.

*building a fort on the stairs with Ian

*Silent Night played over and over

*morning light,  and joy

*sleep,  even in 2 hour stretches

Happy Mother's Day

Mine came with extra sleep, coffee on the porch, strawberries and whipped cream.

Thanking God for 4 boys!

New Mercy

James is now two months old.

He has doubled his weight,

he's now over 11 pounds.

This has been a season

of renewed dependence on the Lord.

My weaknesses are still here,

the fears are still here...

so that I will seek Him.

He is faithful,

the Giver

of grace and peace.

Resolve:

Less:

worry

More:

prayer

Less:

struggle

More:

peace

Less:

hurry

More:

play

Less:

doing

More:

enjoyment

Maybe it's that I turned 30 this month,

maybe it's the new expressions in my oldest's eyes....

But I am feeling the rush of time.

It's time to step out of the race,

let go of the pressure for perfect,

and just live. 

I only get to be here once!

Just Dandy

Going on in life

is terribly hard after loss like this~~~

I am so grateful for those in my life who don't expect

anything

from me right now.

My boys, on the other hand,

are just as demanding as ever.

And it's a good thing.

Plus they bring me the best flowers!

Learning from the Past

These babies grow fast.....Nathan is now reading for real...

and playing basketball non-stop...improving his left hand skills!
Braden is now playing the piano for real.
And scoring 100% on his 2nd grade math.

~
~

I am so proud of my *big boys*!

Raising Boys~~Homeschooling

I sit here on the couch beside my son, unsure of whether to laugh at the irony or yell in frustration. He is in the throes of a stubborn fit over his reading lesson....the word over which the battle rages is the word SUBMIT. He cries, pulls on his cheeks (an angry habit) and is in constant figeting motion with his hands, twisting and turning, picking and pinching. I (ever so calmly, of course) remind him to fold his hands, put his eyes on the page, sound it out, and READ THE WORD. We are going on 30 minutes with this word, a word I know he can read, and I scribble blog notes and shopping lists to help me keep my own impatience in check.

This is not the plan. The plan for these first years (1 and 2 grade) with these active boys is to focus on the basics and keep it quick. I want the majority of their day to be spent outside, where boys belong. On an average day, we are done with 4-5 subjects in just a little over an hour. We multi-task (their pennmanship is copying out their Bible memory verse, and their reading is the Bible, (the gospel of Luke) devotions, and time with Mom. The math and piano lessons are after those subjects.) and try to keep distractions to a minimum. Right. I remind that distractions and learning to perservere through them is a life-skill that they will need as grown men.

Today, schooling is taking twice as long. It's character time, I hope. Inevitably, this happens on a day when I had planned on going somewhere fun after school. Even that doesn't motivate him. I pray silently for wisdom and patience. And I knit.

Knitting is my secret weapon for the early years of homeschooling. I am able to channel my own figets and frustration, rising temper and plain annoyance at the current events into the needles and string. And, usually, something useful and beautiful is to show from it.

Our plans have cancelled, foiled by a six-year-old who is learning the hard lesson of submission. I am, too.

In His Hands

He's got the itty bitty babies....

in his Hands....

He's got the whole world in His Hands.

.

.

Fear wants to win today.

I felt so strong at the beginning...

babycakes

Ever since January 1st,

Our hearts have been doing backflips:

baby #6 in my womb.

Only seven weeks in....so far to go.

Please pray for our little babycakes!

Little Man

Braden, becoming a real man.

God's Word: instruction and

healing for my heart.

Cheap Thrills

I've decided:

he can play in the free rainwater that God provides

and I will cheerfully do the extra laundry....

Jesus Loves Me

My attention is suddenly diverted from the concentration I am giving a troublesome spot in my knitting....Ian is outside on the carport.....SINGING! I have never heard him sing before, and he is singing the entire chorus of our song, Jesus Loves Me. Nathan had just sung it to him, maybe he just now realized that he could sing it, too, not just listen.

Living

"Think of your child; then, not as dead, but as living;

not as a flower that has withered, but as one that is transplanted,

and touched by a divine hand,

is blooming in richer colors and

sweeter shades than those on earth."

~ Richard Hooker

(But remember that we are the transplants...

heaven is our native ground.)

Celebrate!

photo credits to Grace....thanks so much! To my boys: I am so glad that I get to be your mom...you bless me everyday. Your smiles and hugs, flowers and tender words, bless me when I'm hurting. You are going to be mighty men some day, and for now, I'm just glad you're my little boys!

To my dear children in heaven: I love you and can't wait to tickle your adorable little cheeks, and press my nose into your hair. I miss you, but I'm glad you're so happy and safe with Jesus! Give him a hug for me, please?

To my dear: Thank you for taking the hard part of this job...being the dad! You give so much to us all! You make me happy in so many ways and I love you very much!

When I grow up.....

.....I want to be a little boy.

Joseph Heller

Who is this Big Boy???

"no problem, Mom, I can do it, easy!"
He worked extra hard to finish his reading book,
just in time for Saturday and a special reward....
playtime and french fries at the local fastfood playplace.

.
.
Nathan, I am so proud of you!
You are growing into such a confident, helpful young man!
I'm glad I get to be your Momma!

Dear Braden,

You are seven today.

Like all mothers, I can't believe

how fast you've grown.

Just last week, you showed me again.....

you no longer cling to your dad in the swimming pool......

you splash and jump and are driven to learn.....

all on your own.

.

I am proud of you, beyond words.

You are all boy, through and through,

yet in spite of that rough n' toughness,

you have a tender spot.

Keep it, my boy.

.

Happy Birthday!

Love, Mom

Delight

Seeing with my own eyes

a longing fulfilled.....

how we love this little nephew and his mama!

Learning to be Content

Being parents never ceases to be our hardest job ever.

Who knew what would bring us the most happiness

would also bring us the most frustration,

the most sense of inadaquacy,

the most exhaustion?

Being mommy and daddy has shown us the depth of our own sin and selfishness like nothing else could. Not only do we struggle with our own sin, but in the war against sin in our children, we are constantly amazed at the blatant desire for more. Even after we have done something totally new, amazing and fun......

So we started telling the boys this:

"When you feel like whining and crying, stop it and be thankful. "

Come to think of it, I need that motto

probably even more than they do.