He gives joy....

to the brokenhearted. In the everyday, ordinary moments;

when my breath catches with the beauty of life,

I will celebrate the gift of love---

the tenderness of a father

with his children.

Only 5

photo-taking days left until Christmas. And so far, this is the best shot.

Day of Delights

ALL of my family

put effort in

to make my day

very special.

Last weekend, Grandma and Grandpa watched the kids.

Today, my mom and two sisters took me shopping

while Mr.Wonderful stayed home with the boys.

I enjoyed every minute,

then came home to dinner in the crockpot,

special gifts and projects done.

What a treat this day has been!

4 Years Ago

Can you believe how much my babies have grown?

Missing

..... A tiny jeweled star.....

I bought 4 of these last year

one for each child,

in expectation

of Ellie's

first Christmas.

How I miss her!

.

.

.

Christmastime is so bittersweet....

trying not to get so caught up in the hard memories

and "what-ifs"

that I miss what's in front of me today,

three precious boys whose childhood Christmas

memories are NOW!

Their innocence and eager anticipation

remind me to be a child again,

to see Jesus through their eyes.

Details

When our "old" vintage oven

(bought at a yard sale 3 years ago for $25!)

started taking 45 minutes to heat up,

we looked online for replacement parts.

To fix the burners and the oven was going to be over $200.

After a quick scan of the classifieds,

we headed to the city to buy this uptown Frigidaire, circa 1952.

For $150, I now have double ovens, a clock that works,

and even a light that clicks on to say "Broil" or "Bake".

(You know my record with the Broil function!)

Everything works, except the timer.

Merry Christmas to me!

Something New

Well, it was new in 1952!

Familiar

I've been here before.

Three separate times, in fact.

So low, so dark, so small.

Part of me wars against all I love,

angry at all I hold dear.

Inner places of pain, deep beyond explaining.

I do know this.....my God is not put off by my sin.

The sin of rebellion,

the sin of anger,

the sin of discontentment....

even when it's all aimed at him.

He became sin for me,

he will not leave me here.

I cannot save myself, because

sometimes I don't even want him,

but he will not let me go.

Phillipians 1:6

I am confident of this,

that he who began a good work in you

will carry it on to completion

until the day of Christ Jesus.

Give-a-Way!

Thank you for all the good times......

One of the things on my "Thankful List" this year is you,

my blog friends.

Your encouragement and your prayers

have helped me so much......

.

.

.

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The Winner is......

Laura, who said

"Georgeous! I'm in...."

Whew!

What a week! I am not sure what is harder:

the days when they are sick, whiny and clingy,

or when they finally feel better.....and the past 4 days

worth of energy and attitudes come bursting forth.

But there has been some good times, too.
“As for His failing you, never dream of it—hate the thought.
The God who has been sufficient until now, should be trusted to the end.”
Charles Spurgeon

Streams in the Desert

When across the heart deep waves of sorrow

Break, as on a dry and barren shore;

When hope glistens with no bright tomorrow,

And the storm seems sweeping evermore;

When the cup of every earthly gladness
Bears no taste of the life-giving stream;
And high hopes, as tough to mock our sadness,
Fade and die as in some fitful dream,

Who shall hush the weary spirit's chiding?
Who the aching void within shall fill?
Who shall whisper of a peace abiding,
and each surging billow calmly still?

Only He whose wounded heart was broken
With the better cross and thorny crow;
Whose dear love glad words of joy had spoken,
Who His life for us laid meekly down.

Blessed Healer, all our burdens lighten,
Give us peace. Thine own sweet peace, we pray!
Keep us near Thee till morn shall brighten,
And all the mists and shadows flee away!

November Knitting

A Celtic Knot Cloche to match my charcoal gray winter coat....
Striped Socks for Braden....
finally! a successful pair!

This is a rescue from the knitting basket of "flops"....

anything can be fixed with

handmade lace and antique buttons, no?

Of course, it really won't do for my boys....

hmmm.....

Hope and Healing

Earlier this week, I was so blessed to be able to meet Becky. Her blog has encouraged me by her example of joy even after repeated devastating tradegy. She has just finished writing a book, Hope and Healing after Pregnancy Loss, and I am priveliged to have read through the rough draft. After reading it, and meeting her it is clear that God has healed her. She is not bitter, not wounded, not scarred or damaged.....but stronger, alive and joyful again.

I can't reccommend her book enough......it's full of practical, real-life help. And it's so good coming from someone who's been there. If you'd like to read it, let me know!

Fragile

Now easily crushed, stomped to dust,

caught by the lightest wind and blown away.

I was not always like this, was I?

Childlike in all the wrong ways....

needy, demanding, and easily distraught,

unable to face the normal issues in life...

needing a nap by 10am.

*****

Your righteousness reaches to the skies, O God,

you who have done great things.

Who, O God, is like you?

Though you have made me see troubles,

many and bitter,

you will restore my life again;

from the depths of the earth

you will again bring me up.

You will increase my honor

and comfort me once again.

Psalms 71:19-21

In One Word

Where is your cell phone? countertop
Your hair colour? Auburn

Your mother? pretty

Your father? funny

Your favourite thing? sunshine
Your dream last night? stillness
Your dream goal? Joyful

The room you're in? Cold

Your hobby? photography

Your fear? depression

Where do you want to be in 6 years? Debt-free

Where were you last night? Starbucks
What you're not? svelte

One of your wish-list items? Shoes
Where you grew up? happy

The last thing you did? cooked

What are you wearing? coat

Your TV? ick.

Your computer? time warp

Can't live without? Jesus
Your mood? pensive

Missing someone? Ellie

Your car? gas-hog
Something you're not wearing? earmuffs

Favourite shop? Yarn Store

Your summer? beautiful
Love someone? my boys

Love/Hate Relationship? T-Tapp

Current addiction? blogging
Your favourite colour? Brown

When is the last time you laughed? Last night

When is the last time you cried? this morning

Memories from a Wonderful Weekend

It's so much easier to have fun when I'm not alone.....

his childlike spirit is contagious.....

I did this, too!

It's a Free Gift

Everyone needs an 11 foot handmade scarf....
comment and you're in....
drawing will be held on Thanksgiving Day!

Trust

Deuteronomy 3:24
"O Sovereign LORD, you have begun to show to your servant your greatness and your strong hand. For what god is there in heaven or on earth who can do the deeds and mighty works you do?"

What's NOT helpful?

The broil function on my oven, that's what.

I should be banned from that knob....

I always visualize gently toasting the bread,

browning the biscuits, or crisping the top of the muffins.

This is to remind myself,

next time I think I'm ready to handle it,

"Just step away from the broiler, Ma'am!"

p.s. they're not chocolate cupcakes, but corn muffins! I bet you would have never guessed, right?

From the Rocking Chair

Usually, when in my living room,

I sit on the couch, eyes looking down and in,

boys snuggled up on each side, reading aloud.

Yesterday I was surprised by a change of perspective.....

and inspired to enjoy the outward view.

Baby Blessing

Offering hospitality for my mom and sister's birthdays

came with a side benefit today....

my nephew Brogan (5 1/2 months old already!)

taking his afternoon nap

on my shoulder.

How is it that one hour

with this precious little man

fills my heart so?

One hour of tiny sighs, dreaming with a smile,

tiny fist on my neck, his eyelashes curling,

and ears so sweetly formed.

Oh, how I'm feeling it...

the blessing of baby love!

Happy Saturday

This morning, we woke up silly.

Believe me, that doesn't happen very often!

Now, Mr. Wonderful is often very silly,

but I am ashamed to say that very rarely

does the bug cross my immune defense system.

Today was a happy exception!
A day full of fun,
and ending with my favorite meal
*waffles*
and football in the rain!

***note to self *** Be more silly!

Where am I?

Back into survival mode....just the littlest things push me back. I seem to have lost all energy, creativity and focus. This week it was Nathan's ear infection....poor guy spent the better part of two days just crying. Thankfully he's much better now, and today we are trying to find our way back to normal. Right.

From The Purple Cellar...

In one of his parables Jesus described a merchant who went searching for fine pearls. But along the way, the merchant found a pearl that was more valuable than anything he'd found yet, so he went and sold all he had to buy it. We all have a pearl like that, something we'd given anything to possess. But it may not be the pearl that Jesus was talking about. Maybe the one pearl we're searching for is a spouse. Or maybe it's an improvement on the spouse we have. Maybe it’s a new job or a better house.

Inevitably, though, there is no guarantee that pearls of this sort are going to come our way.The pearl of marriage might never come along or, if it does, it might turn out to be a pearl with little luster. The pearl of great talent might never find an outlet--something or someone comes along and takes away the opportunity to use it. Or despite the care and diligence we devote to maintaining the pearl of good health, it remains elusive.There is only one pearl we can be sure of possessing—the kingdom of heaven. And from Jesus' parable we see that getting hold of it is worth everything else we have. We nod our heads in agreement, but do we really believe it? And something else to consider: is this the pearl we really want? If we do, we will invest our lives in it.

Jesus tells us that God's kingdom is greater than any treasure, any blessing, anything else we will ever know. It is worth whatever it may cost us, including the other pearls we want so desperately and think we need. As Christian women, we agree with that in principle, but if we're honest, we have to admit we don't pursue it wholeheartedly. We want the other pearls too much. But that's why many of us live in a state of chronic disappointment. But offering God our disappointments is an act of selling what we have to purchase that one pearl. Each and every time something threatens to steal our peace, we can stop what we are doing and open that raw painful place to God. Sometimes a brief but honest prayer is all we can manage. As often as possible, we sit with his Word open before us, asking him to reveal himself in our struggle. The more we see, the more we will want. Before we know it, we will find ourselves wanting him even more than we want those other pearls. He himself will be the peace we have been wanting all along. He is faithful to us in this way. It has been said, and truthfully so, that sometimes we don't know God is all we have until God is all we've got.

view Lydia's entire blog The Purple Cellar

Longing

....for life with a little girl....

to see the brothers protect her,

her daddy read a different kind of story to her,

to get her ready for church.

The thoughts and reminders that open the wounds again…

More Knitting

This crazy long scarf is a new favorite
and a turn-a-square hat for a gift
(shhh, don't tell!)

Loopy Lace Scarf

My first pattern...hope you like it!

Loopy Lace Scarf
This light and lofty reversible lace

honeycomb rib scarf features a loop

to keep it in place and keep you warm!
Yarn: Frog Tree Alpaca
Sport Weight in Natural ..2 skeins
Needles: Size 4 (I used my set of bamboo double points...

you'll need three for the loop)
Gauge: 26 sts in pattern=4inches
Finished Size: 6 inches by 34 inches

Abbreviations:
k ~ knit
p~ purl
sl 1~ slip one knitwise
yo~ yarn over
psso~ pass slipped stitch over

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.
Cast on 40 (or a multiple of 5 stitches. )
(k3, p2) repeat seven times, k3, p1, sl 1
(k1, yo, k1, sl1-p2-psso)repeat seven times, k1, yo, k1, sl 1-p1-sl 1-psso
(k2, p3)repeat seven times, k2, p2, sl 1
(sl 1-k2-psso, p 1, yo, p 1)x7, sl 1-k2-psso, p 1, yo, sl 1

.

.
Knit honeycomb stitch pattern for 6 inches,

ending with a simple knit/purl row.

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Dividing Stitches for Pull-Through
Divide stitches onto two needles (holding two needles in right hand, work in left hand, slip one stitch onto front needle, second stitch to back needle, alternating until all stitches are divided)
Knitting one side at a time, Knit 1 Purl 1 ribbing, for two inches. Cut yarn, leaving 8 inch tail, and attach to other side, knit until equal length. Then holding both sections in left hand, slip stitches one at a time, alternating front and back needles, until all the work is together again on the right needle. Pick up pattern again, starting with row one.

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.
Knit honeycomb pattern for 23 inches (or desired length for around the neck)
Repeat Dividing Stitches.
In pattern, knit 6 inches, bind off loosely. Block lightly.

Tuning

My heart is battered from nightmares,

and worrying as I wake,
needing a reset button.



Then comes a sweet whisper in my ear:

Come, Thou Fount of every blessing,

Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;

Streams of mercy, never ceasing,

Call for Songs of Loudest praise!

Soft

These wisps of delicious baby hair...

bye-bye.

snip. snip. snip.

Blessings Overflow

Today I met my newest nephews and niece,

what precious little people they are!

They will be three weeks old tomorrow....

all doing well and gaining weight!Cameron Jason
Madison Joy
Blake Brian

Suffering and Sovereignty

Here we have a picture of God's ideal woman.

1. Faith in God that goes beyond and sees beyond present bitter circumstances and setbacks.
2. Freedom from the securities and comforts of home and family and this life.
3. Courage to venture into the unknown and the strange.
4. Radical commitment in the relationships appointed by God.

John Piper, series in Ruth

If you are like me, today was one of the many days when encouragement is needed.

Desiring God is an table set with feasts of grace.

(h)ello?

Ian likes to talk.

To anyone. To everyone.

Even to the neighbor's cow,

if no one else will listen.

Awakening

I am realizing that my life has been "survival mode"

for nearly a year

(when we found out I was pregnant with Ellie,

Ian was just 7 months old!)

It was a time of adjustment, pregnancy hormones

and the rush of the holidays.

.

Then she died.

.

And life has just been crawling, sometimes barely moving at all.

Life has been lost in the woods of grief,

time just passing by while my heart was tightly curled up.

.

It's time. It's time to move again.

To exercise my emotional muscles, to work a little harder,

to push the status quo just a little more each day.

So pray for me, that my motivation comes from the Lord,

from a desire to live as he wants and wills,

not from any part of my self.

Rest

Where does your security lie?

Is God your refuge,
your hiding place,
your stronghold,
your shepherd,
your counselor,
your friend,
your redeemer,
your saviour,
your guide?
If He is, you don't need to search any further for security.

Elisabeth Elliot

Blue Eyes

#1
#3
now he's 5!!
Happy Birthday, Nathan!