I am realizing that my life has been "survival mode"
for nearly a year
(when we found out I was pregnant with Ellie,
Ian was just 7 months old!)
It was a time of adjustment, pregnancy hormones
and the rush of the holidays.
.
Then she died.
.
And life has just been crawling, sometimes barely moving at all.
Life has been lost in the woods of grief,
time just passing by while my heart was tightly curled up.
.
It's time. It's time to move again.
To exercise my emotional muscles, to work a little harder,
to push the status quo just a little more each day.
So pray for me, that my motivation comes from the Lord,
from a desire to live as he wants and wills,
not from any part of my self.
2 comments:
As the Spirit prompts me I will pray for you... survival mode is hard yet many times coming out of it is even harder once it has become a way of life, so to speak.
I've not faced the grief that you have encountered but there is One who has, One who is there with you.
May He continue to uphold you.
I have never experienced your grief either, but know that our Lord and Savior has crawled and moved slowly with you, lovingly and gently holding your broken, curled up heart. He alone will tenderly help you to open it up again. Rest in His hands as He sees you through. I will be praying for courage as you face each new day.
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