Remembering Today

The Purple Cellar posts Remebering A Shepherd as James Montgomery Boice gives his final message to his congregation after discovering that he had liver cancer. These thoughts are especially moving to me....they are something that has been in my heart, but I haven't been able to find the words to express.

"If I were to reflect on what goes on theologically here, there are two things I would stress. One is the sovereignty of God. . . . God is in charge. When things like this come into our lives, they are not accidental. It’s not as if God somehow forgot what was going on, and something bad slipped by. . . . God does everything according to his will. We’ve always said that. But what I’ve been impressed with mostly is something in addition to that. It’s possible, isn’t it, to conceive of God as sovereign and yet indifferent? God’s in charge, but he doesn’t care. But it’s not that. God is not only the one who is in charge; God is also good. Everything he does is good. And what Romans 12, verses 1 and 2, says is that we have the opportunity by the renewal of our minds—that is, how we think about these things—actually to prove what God’s will is. And then it says, “His good, pleasing, and perfect will.” Is that good, pleasing, and perfect to God? Yes, of course, but the point of it is that it’s good, pleasing, and perfect to us. If God does something in your life, would you change it? If you’d change it, you’d make it worse. It wouldn’t be as good. "

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It wouldn't be as good?!!! That's right, as much as my arms ache to hold my baby girl, as much as my tummy even mourns it's NOT HUGE state, as much as the million things I wanted to share with my Ellie, it wouldn't be as good as this. As HIS perfect will. Against the tears and the racking sobs, I shout.... I proclaim..... I demand of myself to know.....

it wouldn't be as good.