One Month

My life is in this weird place of time racing on without my consent.....

and yet, stagnant as though I am waiting for something.

from Molly Piper:

I will never get to take care of her--

change her diaper, feed her, feel the warmth of her.

Instead, my precious baby girl

is buried in a box under a bunch of dirt--

that's not what I wanted for her.

But I did want her to know the Lord Jesus,

so my deepest longing for her has already been known and fulfilled.

I just never would have chosen this for her,

but God did know better, to take her to be with him,

because I don't know if I could

have ever willingly surrendered her,

had she lived.

It amazes me more now that God willingly

sacrificed his Son.

And it also makes me hate sin more--

death came because of sin.

I would not be tasting this bitterness

if sin had not come.

This, and so much more,

rushes through my mind at this late hour,

when I should be sleeping,

but can't seem to stop. I am afraid to stop........