Choose Life

During the last 4 weeks (since our baby's heartbeat was heard), to survive I have been focussing on the good--the gifts of God's grace in my life.   Everyday is a search for evidences of His faithfulness.   My natural mental and emotional state would be either to:
1.  obsess about the baby,  and what might be wrong,  and if we're missing anything....on and on.....
2.  shut down completely.

The daily needs of my family (you know--dinner and clean socks and all!) keep me from #2,  but only a diligent effort to seek God's presence in my day,   to pursue His beauty and intentionally open my eyes to His gifts has kept me from #1.

But this morning,   with my heart pounding in my ears,  I can't escape.  In just 2 hours,  I will know,  for today at least, if it's LIFE or Death.   It is so harsh,  so blunt, so either/or.   There is no middle ground.

Even here the Holy Spirit has something to remind me,  to teach me.   Everything in me loves LIFE,  and this little one,   and how I hate death.  I have tasted it,  and it is bitter.   I hate it.   How much more does God!   And how He want us to see that this is the reality of every single day.  We have the choice ( oh what a blessed choice as believers!) to walk in the Spirit,  sowing seeds of Life,  or to wallow in the ugliness that is our sinful nature. We delude ourselves  into thinking the little sins don't matter....

How I long to walk in the Life of Christ today! 
By His Spirit,  and His mercies,  which are new every morning.