Dr. Love

Our  doctor,

who was with us when Braden was born 

9 years ago,

then Nathan,

then Ian.

A perfect fit....laid back and relaxed

she understood me and my approach

(less is more!).

Then, in 2007,  another pregnancy.  YAY!

Everything cruising along just fine....

when,  at the routine 6-month appointment...

she couldn't find a heartbeat.

She sent me off for an ultrasound, 

hoping that the baby had just moved into a tricky place.

As I walked out of the examining room, she hugged me.

It was then I grasped what she was afraid of...

and I tasted fear and death.

That night,  Dr. Love delivered Ellie. 

Stillborn and perfect....

a girl....

and she wept.

Last winter,  

unsteady and afraid for our newest little one,

going to see her was tonic and balm.

She didn't make any promises,

but I was reassured anyway.

Until 18 weeks.

This time,  when the doppler couldn't find that steady rythm,

she bent down,   hugged me and cried.

So sorry,  so very sorry.

After many hours of waiting,

when I was finally delivering Benjamin,

she ran down the hallway to my room...

that is one of my sharpest memories of that hard time...

her footsteps coming fast.

My doctor was running:

for me,

for our baby, 

who was dead.

What kind a doctor does that?

I called her the day I found out about Sweet 7  { our James }.

She prayed with me, 

and every visit and phone conversation since

(and there have been alot!!)

has ended with her humble prayers

that God would give her, and the other dr.'s, wisdom,

and that He would spare this little life.

Every step of the way,  she has been loving and caring

and supportive.   She has been gracious and humble,

when we decided that we needed to see the high-risk doctors.

It was a emotional decision for me to have James in the city,

away from her.   

This photo was taken the day after we came home

from the hospital.

We went to see her, 

and introduce her to our very special son.

We thank God often for his kindness to us,

evidenced in a smalltown doctor,

who loves.